Fallacious Measure of a Man

"...the legal size is 5 inches. There is a woman in the process of divorce because her husband is only 3 inches."

My car radio is almost permanently tuned to NPR, and with the twist of the car keys, the news started piping through the speakers as soon as the engine started. I was driving home, mouth agape, as the talk of size and its legal implications began to register. Did I really hear what I thought I just heard?

The voice of a man with an accent continued to chatter from my speakers about the physiology of this man's 3 inch phallus. I'm not sure what country has a legal phallus size, but apparently it's reason for divorce. To assure their man is appropriately sized, future wives-to-be are demanding a cast of their fiancé’s "specimen." Perhaps they also skip over "for better, for worse" in their marriage vows.

What about the poor suitor who doesn't quite measure up? Chances for marriage could be slim. It's clear who wears the pants in this country, wherever it is.

The interviewee turned out to be Segador Shartinson, head of the Icelandic Phallological Museum. Here you can see specimens from over 100 land and sea mammals, including the amazing phallus of a sperm whale. According to Shartinson, "You couldn't just put this under your arm and run away." It's that big. Obviously, the sperm whale would have no problem with the legal minimum.

In his heyday, Shartinson also had no problem with the legal minimum and is planning to donate his member to his museum when he dies.

As for the Three Inch Willie: