"If I were bread, would you be my butter?"

“Can I ask you a question?” I’ve been reading Jonathan Rauch’s book Gay Marriage and was curious.

“Sure,” said Kalani, though he seemed drawn more to the TV than me. Tonight Kalani was introducing me to the cult classic To Wong Foo, that, having seen it, would grant me some credibility as a gay person at most dinner parties and other casual gatherings.

“And if I ask you a question, can I get a thoughtful response?”

That caught his attention. He smiled, “What is it?”

“What is marriage for?”

“It depends. Do you want my Mormon or gay perspective?”

“Both.”

“Well, as a Mormon, marriage is for perpetuating the earth, you know, to have a family. It’s about sharing your life with somebody. Marriage defines that commitment - when you really share. Marriage makes that relationship binding and fulfilled.”

Pausing only slightly, Kalani glanced away and then back again so quickly there seemed to be no break in thought. “That’s why I support gay marriage. I think it would end a lot of promiscuity, if they legalize gay marriage...”

I resisted the urge to remind him I wasn’t asking about same-sex marriage, not that it mattered. The idea was to explore a more fundamental query about the purpose of the institution of marriage itself. Why do people marry? It simply cannot be only because people “fall in love” and want to be with someone the rest of their lives. It cannot only be to gain the rights granted to wedded couples by the government. There's much more to it than that.

Kalani continued extemporaneously for a while about gay marriage and then stopped. “What was the question again?”

“What is marriage for?” I repeated, this time emphasizing the deliberately absent qualifier “gay.”

“Oh that’s right. So now the gay perspective. Marriage defines gays as a couple, it gives them civil rights. If you don’t have marriage, you’re only half a person, at least as a citizen in this country. Once you accept civil unions, you dismiss yourself as a full-fledged human being. You’re just a shadow person. Marriage makes you accountable. You can stand up and be counted. It allows you to have children, adopt children, and bring them up within the bounds of society where children are given the same rights. It defines them within a family...”

The conversation gradually petered out, and the movie beckoned. Kalani's insights on marriage, whether gay or straight, are strikingly similar to Jonathan's, just wrapped in different wording. We settled in our seats, hit the "play" button, and enjoyed the rest of the evening laughing our heads off.

"You know, pumpkins? Sometimes it just takes a fairy."

Union Station

I was looking at the itinerary and it seems pretty full. There doesn’t seem to be much down time (this is a good thing), but you don’t get much time to eat. So my advice would be to stay close to the hotel for meal breaks. And for one of those meal breaks I would most definitely advise you to head to Union Station to eat. It is within walking distance of the hotel, has plenty of options for food, and is a must see in terms of DC sites.

So what exactly does Union Station have to offer? Well… there is a food court downstairs (typical mall food court) and there are a few nice restaurants. So if you want something cheap you got it, if you want a nicer sit down fancy place, it's there too! As far as nice restaurants, there are a number to choose from and although I haven't tried them, I have heard good things about America as well as The Station Grill. There is also some shopping that can be done at Union Station, but don’t be too surprised when you see how small the shopping area is and how few stores there are. Basically Union Station allows you to find the food you want as well as provides some light shopping and beautiful scenery.

Mr. P's

Q: "I've heard of a famous gay bar called 'Mr. P's' - do you know where it is and can you tell us about it?"
-Peter Brown from Albuquerque

A: Mr. P's/The Loft was located at 2147 P Street, NW near Dupont Circle. Yes, you read correctly..."was." It closed in December 2003. Perhaps it was made famous by the scandal that ensued when John Paulk, the posterboy of the ex-gay movement, walked in to "visit the restroom." His 40 minute stay almost cost him his job as North American director of Exodus International. That was September 2000.

I'm not sure why Mr.P's closed or what it was like, as it was before my time. Any DC locals out there who know more?

Ben's Chili Bowl

So after a night of pathetic bar hopping, my friends and I were hungry, but wanted something a little different from the typical. So the question is where to go… Something spicy, something exciting but low-key and something cheap. So the verdict “Ben’s Chili Bowl.” Ben’s Chili Bowl is famous. It is a major hotspot for famous people with photo’s all over of celebrities including Bill Cosby and Miles Davis. It is historically famous being one of the oldest restaurants in the city…and also for having survived and stayed open during the riots.

I’d never been before so I got the famous Chili Dog and Chili Cheese Fries. They were good. Wasn’t great, just good. It was very spicy, so if you don’t like spice you DON’T want this. Food is pretty cheap and the atmosphere is great. I would recommend going if for nothing else than the historical aspect and the atmosphere. However, I would not necessarily recommend going at 2 in the morning. It isn’t the lightest of food so it can be a lot to sit in your stomach that late at night.

DC's Gay Bars

You see him staring at you from across the room. What a stud! Your friend you came with is talking but you’ve tuned him out. All you can think about is this guy who is totally, obviously blatantly drooling as he stares directly at you… or umm… directly above you? You turn around. There’s a giant TV screen playing “Rough and Ready.” Great. You felt awkward before. Now you are totally uncomfortable in a place with porn playing on all the walls. Suddenly the bar tender speaks into a microphone. Its midnight and men in underwear drink free. Now there is nowhere to look but at the ceiling. You are so uncomfortable you are tempted to walk home rather than wait for you friend. It’s going to be a long night. (Disclaimer-this story is not about me...it is just a story).

When choosing your bar or club it is important to know about the atmosphere you are going to come across. Whether you want a typical bar, a country bar, leather or even something more “exciting”, DC has the right place for you. It’s just knowing where to find it.

I will write about other bars/clubs in DC, in the future but these are the three that I frequent the most. Disclaimer: I am not a big fan of bars or clubs, so I don’t frequent them often.

Remingtons Country Bar: 639 Pennsylvania Ave. SE
Cover: Yes
Cost of drinks: Average
Age bracket: All ages-but not too many 18-25 yr olds.
Atmosphere: Laid back, Chill
Crowded: Average
General Info: Karaoke upstairs. Pool tables upstairs.
Personal Comment: I like it because you can go and watch the dance floor. I’m not a drinker and I don’t really dance so feel out of place at most bars. This one gives me something to do without feeling like I’m standing at the wall alone and awkward.
Problems: The bar is not near Dupont Circle and therefore not near any other gay bars, so if you are looking to do more than one bar, it can make it a long trip to get somewhere else.

Halo: 1435 P St NW
Cover: Yes
Cost of drinks: Expensive
Age bracket: 22-40 yrs old
Atmosphere: Sleek and Stylish
Crowded: Yes
Personal Comment: Lots of eye candy. I like it, but sometime I feel like I’m in a plastic room surrounded by plastic Ken dolls. If you drink, bring lots of money. If you come alone, you might feel a little out of place-better to come with other people. This is a bar, there is no dance floor. I highly recommend this bar!!




Green Lantern: 1335 Green Ct NW
Cover: No
Cost of Drinks: Cheap
Age bracket: 30-50
Atmosphere: Laid back, Chill
Crowded: No
General Info: Pool table upstairs. Saturday’s Men in underwear drink free from 12-1 am.
Personal Comment: There are TV screens upstairs with video’s playing. If this makes you feel uncomfortable, then don’t go. People here are very friendly. Hard to locate if you don’t know where it is. This place is good or bad depending on the night. Shirtless Thursday nights are usually good, but weekends are a toss up. Unless you are willing to do some bar hopping I would not recommend this place without a big group.